Nufin like a posh wedin

Initially I was blasé about the Royal Wedding but once you start watching, it’s like an all day sucker, you just can stop sucking it up.  And didn’t Kate look gorgeous.  And let’s not forget she’s a commoner. It seems like it’s up to the commoners to keep the Royal band wagon afloat. Just look what our Mary’s doing for the Danes.

Prince William isn’t too bad either. However, was it my imagination or is he getting a bit think around the waist-line?  And that goes for Harry’s waist-line too – the sexy bugger.  There’s nothing like a bloke in a uniform, the more medals they have the less you worry about the other things that can bring a bloke down – like a bald spot for instance or ‘small hands’ and possibly even a stutter  – no, not a stutter I’m afraid.

I can’t help but wonder if they all think the whole pomp and ceremony is as boring as bat shit.  But on the other hand, I’m sure I would enjoy being adored by all and sundry. Let’s face it, we should all experience life as a princess or prince (whichever way you slant) every now and again – or then again maybe not.  Best not know what we’re missing because I’m sure I’d neck myself rather than to take a step backwards from Royal living to the day to day drudgery of what I have to endure now (poor me).  On the other hand, I’m sure I’d think about necking myself if I had to sit for hours on end listening to the words of damnation sprouted by the preachers – that’s enough to do one’s head in – little wonder I’m an atheist.

However, it appears that the heads of the Church of England can go against the rubbish printed in the Bible and invite Sir Elton John and his partner, what’s-his-name.  Just goes to show even they (the great Heads) consider it (the bible) a great work of fiction too.

While watching the telecast in the church, I can’t help but wonder what’s said between the Queen and Prince Philip on the couple of occasions the camera showed them having a little chat while the choir boys were singing.  Maybe something like, “I’m dying to go to the loo”. After all we all know how women suffer from weak bladders, especially an 85 year old woman. Or maybe she asked where the hell she was.  And I wonder what Camilla said to Charles?  Or, Princess Anne to her husband?  I guess we’ll just have to imagine or make it all up – I know what I’ll do.  I think the Royal party should wear microphones – that would put an interesting slant on the occasion.

And what’s with the two Nuns sitting at the alter next to Will and Kate? The ones dressed in Gray.  Ready to hit Will or Kate over the head if they speak out of turn – just like they use to when I was at school (good old Sister Una).

And one can’t help but love all the Royal horses; they do look rather grand on these occasions and also make me feel like calling up the local Pony Club and heading on down to get riding lessons.  But who’s going to clean up the Royal Horse shit all over the streets?  Probably the Royal Shit Picker-uppers – I don’t fancy that job but I guess someone’s gotta do it.

Anyway, that’s my take on the whole event, now back to  I’m sure I come from Royal stock and I’ll dig around until I find the link – then watch out – the world will have to deal with me and my Royal family.