Nanni night care – cut version

I was charged with the task of babysitting my two gorgeous Grand-kids last Saturday night. My daughter prefers if I stay over so the kids don’t get out of routine.  My daughter is a routine freak.  Little did I know that by the end of the night I would be babysitting one unsettled  baby, one drunken father and one partying mummy.

The night started out like most other babysitting nights where I’m screaming at my daughter and son-in-law to get the hell out of the house before Charlie starts crying because they’re leaving. To be fair to my son-in-law, it’s never his fault there’s a dramatic exit, after all my daughter is a drama teacher and she lives and breathes her work.

Once the parents were gone the kids settled down with 150 books for me to read, or at least attempt to read, and a glass of milk.  Charlie goes through the process of selecting a book, handing it to me and climbs on my lap for me to read.  Once he’s on board the Nanni lap we get to around page two and he’s sliding down my leg, off to select another book.  In between Charlie’s trips to and from the book case, I manage to read a book to Matilda.

When there was a break in the book readings, I managed to pour my Nanni night care potion – on this occasion it was a lovely Margaret River Red.

Charlie was showing all the signs of sleepiness so I put him down to bed and lo and behold, he went down without a whimper. One down and one to go!

Not long after Charlie went to bed, Matilda announced she too would like to go to bed. And off we went. I didn’t believe for one second she’d drift off to sleep after I read the obligatory book or two. And my hunch was right.  So Matilda and I snuggled on the lounge and watched TV.

Now here lies the problem.  My son-in-law is a sports fan (or should I say sport freak) so if I was at all interested in watching the football, horse racing, soccer or frigging tiddlywinks,  I would be in TV heaven.  Unfortunately for me, I’m not.  As part of his pay TV package he gets all the sports channels and only the basic channels of anything else.  Meaning, there’s fuck all to watch on TV. 

Luckily for me but unlucky for them this Saturday night’s Movie selection was good, so I ordered two movies – both charged to their account. Just desserts I say. Anyway, after a time I carried a sleeping Matilda to bed then settled in for an easy night of Movies and wine. Ahhh sweet relief but not for long!

Around 9.30 I heard Charlie coughing which on my daughter’s instructions, I ignored. After another while the coughing was accompanied by some crying, which I didn’t ignore so I snuck into his room and bought him out for a cuddle.  After 30 minutes he went back to sleep and I put him back to bed. Not long after putting little Charlie to bed, I noticed the front porch light turned on and thought I heard someone rustling outside and figured it was my daughter and son-in-law.  However, no one came through the door so I figured the light was tricked by a bird or passer-by and I went back to the movie.

Another 20 minutes passed and I heard another rustling, this time at the back door, right next to where I was watching TV. I figured they were home and waited for them to tap on the door so I could let them in. After a minute or two the rustling continued but no one came to the door. Being rather brave, I stuck my head out through a slightly ajar door and ask who was there.  My son-in-law said it was him, so I let him in.  Immediately I could see he was drunk.  He gets this funny look on his face where his eyes are transfixed on the ground approximately 1.5 meters in front of him and his upper body tilts wildly to one side. He made it to the lounge, sat down and proceeded to sleep.  Not before I asked where my daughter was, which he replied that he didn’t know. I might add, his lovely white shirt that my daughter insisted I tell him looked good earlier, was now dirtied with what appeared to be grass stains. 

Where the hell had he been I wondered?

If only the son-in-law would go to bed so I didn’t have to arrange myself another comfy spot on the lounge. Ok, I resettled myself and got back to the movie! Ten minutes passed and Charlie was crying again.   This time his crying was a little more intense and it was clear he wasn’t going to settle. So I got him up.  He was pleased when he saw his father but when his father didn’t respond to his attempts at a cuddle, Charlie wasn’t happy and made it very clear. I don’t normally text my daughter with any news other than the kids have gone to bed.  I do this to prove to my doubting daughter that I’m more than capable of getting the kids to bed before midnight. On the contrary, they are usually in bed or asleep before 7.30pm. But on this occasion I sent a text asking how long she was going to be?  The reply was she was heading off to the pub.

While I was trying to re-settle Charlie, my son-in-law got up off the lounge and headed out the back door.  “Where are you going?” I asked.  To that he told me he needed to go outside.Ten minutes passed and still no son-in-law. It was quite cold and I was worried he’d get hypothermia. I would have gone outside to check on him but I thought what the hell,  it was too cold.

So armed with an unsettled baby and a lost son-in-law I decided mummy (daughter) better come home – Nanni night care was over and out.

Did I see both movies you ask? Besides the commercials interrupting my viewing so to was one unsettled baby, one drunken son-in-law and one partying mummy, but funnily enough I managed to drink half-a-bottle of wine and watch two movies.

Ahhh sweet relief!

PS:  To keep the peace with my favourite son-in-law, some facts have been deliberately left out but if you ask me next time you see me, I’ll fill you in on the details.