I had dinner the other night with two girlfriends (GFs), both in their 30s and single. One has been on a dating site, eHarmony, for a while and the other GF has just signed up for the same site after an unsuccessful five minute membership with RSVP – apparently she got numerous emails from blokes using handles such as flavourisious and fullysicbro and thought that maybe she wouldn’t find the “one” on this site unless she was really looking for a fully sic bro who thought he was flavourisious.
It became apparent from a discussion about tick boxes that I realised my GFs were really narrowing their selection criteria. For instance one GF would disregard any man who selected from a list of “things you can’t live without” the option of “can’t live without sex”. Ok, that would narrow the list down to 15%, maybe less. Her reasoning behind this was that they were only looking for a f-buddy, if you get my drift. The same GF also disregarded any man who didn’t select the option “enjoyed reading books”, narrowing the list down to about 3.5%.
For the 3.5% of men who got through this tough selection process and went as far as emailing or chatting online, they would get the boot for spelling mistakes or crappy grammar. There’s not a man I know that can live without sex, loves to read and who could win a spell-a-thon.
The other GF is looking for an Aussie bloke, preferably tall, professional and a good sense of humour. She’s had a couple of unsuccessful relationships with non-Aussie background blokes, one who is tied at the hip to his mamma and the other whose family wouldn’t eat at her house because she ate pork. In a multi-cultural city like Sydney, finding an Aussie bloke is becoming a tall order.
This discussion got me to think about about all the discussions I’ve been in with single women and how they all want the same thing, to find “Mr Right to spend the rest of their life with”. Their idea of Mr Right usually sounds like this: tall, handsome, romantic, someone to share long walks on the beach with, intelligent, someone who listens to what ‘you’ have to say.
Faced with that criteria and the ones set out by my GFs, no man on earth qualifies.
You might get your tall and handsome man who may even be romantic and they may even like long walks on the beach but his man will be more interested in his looks, his romantic gestures will be a ploy to get laid by other women, and the long walks on the beach will be to see what other hot women perv on him. He’ll be dumb as dog shit and couldn’t give a damn about your woes. And let’s face it, this man is looking for his Pammy big titty Anderson – so needless to say this relationship won’t be a lasting one.
Then there’s the intelligent guys. These men usually don’t have a sense of humour; their idea of romance is to take you to a Star Wars convention (I’ve been on a date like this once). They won’t listen to you because they’ll have their headphones on while playing Star Ship wars with someone in Russia. They are usually short and stubby or very tall and skinny with no arse – yuck!
So faced with these limitations, I think all single women should aim for a “Mr 50%”. However, when selecting the 50% they need to remember there are validations they need to pass to achieve this 50%. Let me explain….
You can’t have tall, handsome and intelligent; or tall, handsome and funny; or tall, handsome, intelligent and funny. You can’t have short, handsome and intelligent; or short, handsome and funny.
You can have tall, funny and ugly; or tall, intelligent and ugly; or short, ugly and intelligent; you can also have tall, handsome and dumb as dog shit. If you get my drift? Unfortunately girls, men don’t come any other way.
And as for their next criteria: “to spend the rest of their life with”. Given the limitations I described above, does any woman see themselves with these guys longer than, let’s say, 10 years?
However, on the other hand, given that finding Mr Right is like finding the pot of gold on the end of a rainbow, you may as well stick it out because the grass isn’t greener on the other side – all you’ll find is another Mr 50%.